爱真得很痛

Cny

2012-01-30T01:08:00.001+08:00

First thing family My cousins are back and this time our 全家福 finally full strength

Ok 2nd thing ... Cny .... Haha pretty hectic ... Hmmm with lions dragons and dragon king .... Wriggling and party rock with them

Hmmm another year

2011-12-25T18:37:00.001+08:00

Oh wells another year had passed .... All this while I thought I had improved but .... Sadly is not after i had being threw with tons of responsibility .. Stressful ... There are times I told myself not to cry but sometimes I need to hide somewhere and let it roll .. So oh wells ... I shall rejoice this terrifying 2011 is over ... Soon

Disappointed

2011-11-14T19:49:00.001+08:00

Why things happen till like that?

life?!

2011-09-23T13:41:00.002+08:00

hmmms been thru ups and down .. bullshits and nonsense ... but then for this 6 years i finally up to the point whereby i am going to take a greater responsiblity .. which is a good thing, because i am being streched and know my limits. and also leadership training, makes me know myself better.

and also thank to the friends around me, who gave me a positive coaching on my finances ... damned.. hmmms is a shame .. but i will try my best.

its amazing that family supports u whenever u do .. it gave u somemore sense of joy to complete job.

decided to join more positive activities .. hmms like vertical marathon .. and now the ramp up training i did today .. was quite disappointing .. because ....... first moutain biking .. failed .. instead did an urban biking ... then swam ... hmms 10 over laps in an hour .. no good. oh wells ... but then is ok .. i hope more training will help =)

cough

2011-08-06T13:21:00.003+08:00

hmms i did not know that being taken care off can be a bliss hahaha .. hmms this few days i am sick .. and ya .. people like adrian and marcus took care of me .. and indeed .. what i need now is rest .. cos after ndp IS TRAINING TIME!! hahaha ... CSB!! the greatest challenge i am facing in my life .. 32 km route march is no joke dude .. haha .. hmms oh wells and also this determines my career to .. no matter what i am gonna give it a shot, be it fail or pass .. awwww is a good experience .. hahaha. Hmms is odd to blog on a sat .. cos by right NOW i am at the float, starting my weekly work life balance ... haha never mind ... missed my sat so much now, even though is work .. but i enjoyed alot hehe, also learn new things talk to new people, made new friends, hmms oh wells ... what good thing have to be end .. hehee ... anyway this week is a failure week to me .. because i realised that i can be so easily get defeated .. hmms i think i must do something about it .. cos the route march ... 4 km only lei .. can get defeated liao .. this is so not me .. my name is called ROACH!! cannot be defeated the roach lei ... oh wells ... cannot slack liao ... my career is at stake! hahaha jia you e.low =)

=(

2011-08-01T05:01:00.002+08:00

after all i realised that i m being so blessed in my life, while my friends out there encounter loads of problems ... which i cant handle it at all .. sometimes i felt really ashamed that this 25 years of my life experience i cant even help my friend at all .. sounds disappointed eh?! but then yups ... wish my friend all the best .. hmms also ... i dun like being treated like a dirt .. perhaps is my own single sided thinking which leads to all this nonsense ... kinda disappointed that u make people like u and u tell people that u dun wanna be in a r/s. BUT!! oh wells .. i have my own set of ways to react upon this issue, i dun wish to be that idiot to commit into u, sorry i have no feelings for u anymore .. my feelings for u is just as a friend to friend concern .. thanks and goodbye .. hehe ... hmms also .....

NDP!! hehee

i must say is a remarkable journey for my whole career life, its really widen my capacity and also seeing people how to handle work stress and etc, i must say is a positive learning journey, and also known a number of good people, friends and got a daughter out of nowhere =p oops hahaha but then is like good time, positive experience and also a wonderful learning process, though my role is small .. but the amount i learn is priceless and tons of things for me to see. hmms after that preview, i seriously miss my saturdays alot I MEAN IT, though we are talking about not enough sleep and burnt out saturday, but my saturdays for the past few weeks is fun, interesting and IMBA!! hahaha ... i gotta miss them lots ... and special thanks for the new friends which i made thru out this special journey .. LOVE U ALL LOADS

did i really get over?! hmms

2011-05-26T19:34:00.002+08:00

i used to think that getting over someone is forever easy .. but as the age goes ... is getting harder, i used to feel complacent with people which loves me, but end up ya when things over already start to curse and swear at myself!! what is the point? hmms congratulates myself that i had get over u? hahaha hmms got past the middle part of the test already! so wads next?! seeing u hand in hand blissfully with someone wad will i feel?! this question i kept asking myself what will i do?! 1. hi and shake the bf's hand? 2. just walk off like what i usually do when i see her ... hmms good question .. but if i pass this test ... oh yes u are out of my life already!! hahaha but then the other point is i cant really be thinking of her .. hey limpeh got a life to lead ok!! so end of the day it comes to this question: am i that strong enough? till today i cant answer myself this ... cos i cant even see myself that cool!! but thru endless thinking and advice i decided to tell myself this ... see her just treat her as stranger! why she dun even wanna take me as a friend anymore so whats the point my cookhouse god ma also told me this ... so?! the questions i ask myself what will i see when she is blissfully hand in hand with some other guy .. HAHA the answer is WALK OFF!! and dun care ... since i whatsapp her and she dun be bother to reply then save it! well we shall let fate throw the dice!!!

life do have hope

2011-03-26T10:53:00.003+08:00

recently i am hooked up with japanese movies. And there is this particular movie which really shake me alot. which is 1 litre of tears. This movie naturally a wake up call, which really spread this message to the whole world that, if this girl suffer from SCD (Spinocerebellar degeneration ) which totally wreck her whole teenage life. But then she can bravely face her life and also live her life to the fullest. So ... she suffer alot .. and me? dwelling my life thinking of my past ... so ya ... no matter how painful i m i will move on. and live my life to the fullest.

yups .... on a lighter note, i had puffy eyes for this few days, hmms i find that japanese movies are original and also they have this special ability to make u laugh and also jerk your tears =)

what a 2010

2010-12-19T10:45:00.002+08:00

2010 is REALLY a bad year for me ....

1. break up (right at the first moment of 2010)
2. work
3. family (mummy is sick)

i PRAY hard that 2011 will be the year of victory ... and God will answers my prayers .. cos i am standing at the crossroad whether should i extend my final contract .. if not i will just embark to a new journey as a civilian ...

annoiting is the word

2010-11-07T23:38:00.002+08:00

i realise that ... the most evil enemy is no one else .. but urself ..

why i felt that .. .......... ..

all thanks to the checks i will be having .. not convenient to say it here .. but thru all this pre checks works ... really make me realise that all this while I AM LIVING IN MY OWN WORLD .. so ya ... and is like ... i need to change .. ya ya.. all this i said a long time ago .. but yups ... this is how i felt .. cos i m in my MID 20s in ard 2 weeks time .. and all this thing not changing .. it will eventually sabotage my career and eventually my life .. so all thanks to boss ......

hmmmmm ..

emotional post now .. (hate it)

i m gg back to the place i used to get out from ... so ya which means after this checks i m going back ... and ya i hate to say this ...

boss brandon: all thanks to ur advice .. and i can never find such a patient boss in my life .. thank u so much ... i really hope to fight with u again ...

jason ong: thanks for all the bunk fun ... unforgettable .. dun overslp hor .. i not beside u to call u wake up hor ..

jonathan ... hmms my buddy and always hear my rants .. and ya ... pls bloody remember my advice ..seriously .. dun get too hot headed .. not good for u ... hmms i m not ard to tell u to chill down or relax .. u are on ur own now ... cheer up ... we will still meet hahaha

love?

2010-07-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

i realise this thing ... i dun think i can have another relationship, cos ppl around tell me where by i need to have money and career .. which i felt is quite true .. maybe me and apple bump to each other in a very wrong time .. but then thru this i realise that is true that u need to have money and career then will start ANEW... hmms though last time my ego tell me that is bullshit .. if u love me u can really endure hardship together .. but i am wrong .. hmms so well ya though indeed i wanna find a new relationship but then i have no courage to do it .. so thats y ... stay at wad i m is the best .. and then also ... i want to get water baptised, which i sensed this when i m in church just now .. gotta pray upon it .. whether i should or not .. and then also ya baptised means new me .. no more edmund low going to those places which i should not go =x hahaha kidding .. wells can go but dun get drunk can liao .. and also is a good thing too .. it give me more determination to quit smoking =))) .. thats y .. i want a new edmund which is Godly and whole - heartedly follow God .. After MIA-ing for like 2 years + .. and wonder which religion is good for me .. but then is like there is nothing like God ... really ... edmund wants to be with God ..

oh wells

2010-05-09T17:59:00.003+08:00

it is after sometime i blog .. and well i m feeling better indeed ... there are tons of people asking me to go back to her .. but it seems so so so so impossible ... cos her mindset is closed ... though we have realli stopped what are we doing for the past 3 mths ... but i still feel that we stil love each other but then is like she is beginning to letting it go .... SLOWLY .. our meetings from weekends now had turned like i dunno how to say too ... welll jus let God to decide my fate ba .. as i also don't wanna lead a life which is drink and got wasted .. and also well i have enough of like having FALSE feelings towards others .... and end up i only know that i only love her ... ok .. i told myself already .. if i want to wait please use my full heart and effort to wait ... and i told jessica jie bout it ...

well as for work .. i m sick of tired after staying in css .. cos is like i got a feeling tt i m being eaten up ... and cmon edmund u are eaten up by JUNIORS what the heck are u even thinking?? hmms what should i do??

yoo hoo

2010-01-16T08:52:00.003+08:00

welcome 2010, i m so late haha ...
but then 2 weeks of the new year life seems to be like more and more sad.. cos is like ppl ord - ing those close to me for this 4 years of my life .. though separate .. but i wish to keep on meeting them and hang out with them i will miss them ... hmms last thurs we went novena and hav a so call dinner ...

buddy .. thanks for being my good fren .. will treasure this frenship ... happy ORD!!

next .... hmms well well ... my ord date have been extended till 2012 .. muahaha 2 more years cos .. i wanna earn and save more money for license .. i swear i m gonna take it soon ... realli ... this has being part of my resolution ...

311209

2009-12-31T17:42:00.002+08:00

well i mus say this year... is an up and down year for me ...

ups:
went to indon for an eye opener trip
( i dun call it as work cos there is new experience)

transfered to css (storemando)
(END UP I FELT IS AN DISATER OVERTHERE. THE REASON I PUT IT IN THIS CAT COS I HAVE A GOOD AND UNDERSTANDING BOSS AND NICE WORKING PARTNER, EVEN I BROKE HIS CAR SEAT ADJUSTER)

having apple tan
(even we have the harshest quarrels apple is always be with me, i love u)

knowing more friends ( yeah i know is a lie, but ya a few also counted ar, well there is this guy call wh in my ex platoon, cos his attitude his peers all casted him out, so ya at least he will listen to advices in a nicer way he will learn and change so ppl pls give him a chance!!)

conquering my biggest childhood wishes ( voyaged to jurong west, my place of growth and also voyaged to esplanade with my bike)

DOWN:

i beginning to realise that the place i am working is getting worst, but then i decided to stay on cos i m focusing on the pay and my own work, so no matter where they wanna put me i jus do it ...

i lost apparently all of my friends
NEVER MIND PEOPLE i forgot all the down period , i am so optimistic eh!!

hmms well i am so looking forward wad it is on 2010

attending something formal

2009-11-27T08:52:00.003+08:00

when people ask me which attire suits me .. i would answer army fatigues ... haha but then i attended this function which requires me long sleeves and ties hmms it took tons of $$ and also time to do up this uniform!! but worth it .. smart and nice

my weekend escape

2009-11-27T08:27:00.009+08:00

recently i dunno why... i am addicted to cycling AGAIN!! which is a long lost hobby since i entered into my military life ... and i also hook up on long distance cycling .. it was fun and u get to see different walks of people .. last week on sat .. i went mountain biking, and after that rode to jurong to have dinner .. which is my hometown .... and the next day went out try out to a super far place which is ......... esplanade ... initially i set my destination at cineleisure but then i felt that i want to take more challenge so i rode to marina instead...

pics!!

honestly speaking .. i miss this place since 2007!! tons of memories there

after that went home and i took a stupid en route to orchard which lands me into seas of people and i dun even know how to get my paths right ... but then end up i reach home safely ..

and ... next our dear mr 大手肉 or shall i say sgt leng's wedding ... after riding met up with jonathan cos he is at my house and i am still at upp bt timah road riding .. so press on when i am damned frigging shagged ... then met up with him change up and off i go .. seriously i hate to go to this kind of dinners cos i dun even know wad to wear end up .. i wore a disastrous shit shirt out =(

pics again!!

my buddy!! joshua...

HI AMANDA!!

2008-06-28T18:06:00.005+08:00

hey thanks for viewing ar ... hehehe ... aniwaes this week aargh .. totally sucks ... dun ask y .. alot of complications ard and being emo .. well my feelings for her will never drop ba i guess .. nvm alot of this kind of things happen ard me .. and ya guess wad MY HOUSE PAINTED A NEW COAT OF PAINTS ... wooo ... and guess wad .. i realli had enuff of stayin in tt coy ... i m seriously tired ... i realliy missed workin with cpt michael ... i hate it man ... the cqc sunday blues are back ... i dunno y ... WORK SUCKS .. or i shld change a whole new mindset .. cos i mean tt this whole week PRINCESS told me loads of things which i felt tt is a wake up call and somemore i realli nid to plan wad to do le ... and ya .. EDMUND please change ur mindset NOW!! nt enuff time le ...

NDP07@ marina bay: miss the days

NDP 07@ marina bay: ah fat (jermaine) my confidante

home: my kaixinguo and me (lil JER)

emo-ed week

2008-06-15T17:11:00.002+08:00

hmms well had kinda bored + hot tempered week .. and also a ADVENTURE - FILLED week .. hmms cos jus came back from confinement omg .. is damned freaking bored and also did nt come home like 54523125633523 yrs ... and ya my whole week in camp got a special someone came by nt just physical BUT just phone calls .. hehe .. well also ya got loads of complicated issues need to iron out!! haiz .. well onli kws knows .. hehe welll i pray tt eventually she will be mine ba ... also nt so looking forward ... cos they got this field pack inspection and some stores clearing wadever it is they say till the old seletar old folks life will be GONE!! T.T... nvm cheerious hope tt tml i can meet the DEAREST princess!!

wad a week

2008-06-05T16:19:00.002+08:00

my week has been a very real relax week .. went back to dragon for CCAC (some first aid course) and is like a homecoming week for me to meetup ppl like michael pey and sebas those cqc trainees tt been thru shit .. hmms well relax can say relax BUT is like gg to school to study like tt .. omg .. but real sian but interesting .. cos is like first aid is a must to learnt ar .. hmms also learnt alot of things in the things i do .. cos i realise tt i have good ppl ard me tt will giv me advice... well sometimes advices can be annoying but if u heed it, it will be an blessing to u =D .. also learnt ways hw to approach to strangers .. is a very good learning week =D and btw thanks to KWS =D

hear me rant!!

2008-06-01T01:26:00.003+08:00

i realise this thing which came across me moments ago.. i lost the will and the purpose in life.. wad is this refering too?? i guess is abt my r/s agen .. well i lost hope is r/s le .. and the thing i dun wanna lose is the fighting will and the purpose of my life .. i mean tt when i lose all this i will become another piece of shit in this world .. thats the last thing i want.. yes i maybe lost the confidence on hw to handling stuffs.. but edmund low .. is time for me to stand up and move on le .. no point sitting down there and look back .. IS USELESS .. will she knows .. i dun think so.. and ya in life there are too much wrong turns le .. but wrong turns sometime can u - turn de .. and maybe the wrong turn might be a blessing .. u dunno .. edmund stand up and walk le .. if i contd to just sit down there and emo .. i guess it will be the end of me ba .. edmund dun becoz of r/s and u lost ur whole soul away .. wth ... shld nt be the case ar .. and tts nt the edmund tt ppl use to know ... brk up still will be happy go lucky de ... WHER IS UR F#$king fighting spirit in life?? edmund low if u continue like tt .. i guess those ppl which despises u they will be laughing off their asses .. wake up my fking ideas nw ... !!

repent

2008-05-25T17:58:00.002+08:00

i think i must treat ppl well .. in chinese yi li dai ren (treat ppl with courtesy and respect) and also ji kou de (dun be so poison tongue) be it hw terrible the person or hw irritating the person at least he deserve a minimum respect. i believe that hw i treat ppl and the ppl will treat me the same way. i hope i can really change this point. =D And also i need to learn this thing call .. talk when needed .. because is like this flaw of me will always land me down. i hope i will change this few point =D agape

WHY

2008-05-25T03:10:00.003+08:00

hmms ytd was my cutie cousin joey's bday .. haha turned out in the evening and my kai ma aka my auntie ask me to be her stand in game master cos her age is catching up le ... no voice then played with the kids .. OMG .. haha aniwaes had loads of fun .. hehehe then after tt hia di wanna meet me cos kak kak went to her colleague's hse for party .. then he came up to eat the food ... after tt he came my hse to upload some songs then after tt hit to petir to wait for kak kak ... then thru waiting shared loads of thing with hia di.. BUT then i turned emo .. cos of JEN .. dunno wad topic we hit tt struck me .. then all the way emo .. then reach dam le .. sibeh emo .. then kak kak saw nt the usual me .. cos when i hit the dam i will be 1 x RETARD .. doing up the resident evil shit or other thing .. i ji dao after sing bday song i sit down face the sea.. then i share with her lo.. hmms alot of point strikes me .. well her mindset = to mummy and adriano's ... their point is same .. is a undeniable point ... then i told myself this wad for to b emo when this whole thing is an IMPOSSIBLE SHIT .. i emo WILL SHE KNOWS?? i dun think so... for goodness sake this thing has dwell over me for like 125486334863285632 donkey months le .. and well i simply just dun wan becoz of her end of the day i lose someone which eventually meant for me .. well i wish tt i dun wanna let her affect my whole r/s life .. my social circle nw = 0 (nt say i dun have frens BUT is like i dunno hw to interact with ppl and my confidence GONE too) break the curse now EDMUND LOW ... hehe.. hmms well i hope tt she will know tt .. I M SICK OF TIRED OF PUTTING IMPOSSIBLE HOPES .. at least buy 4D i strike i will get money lose le take it as donate to charity .. GOOD DEED!! dwell over a impossible hope no money come lose the hope = no money to charity .. wad the point .. =D .. put a stop ..

boring

2008-05-22T20:38:00.000+08:00

i think i gonna get real fat soon ... eat slp shit!!! hahaha .....

loads of things happen

2008-05-21T23:29:00.002+08:00

well life for this week is like up and down well more on r/s haiz .. well quite a sinful week ba ... but thank God is over .. and also well back to my coy ... loads of SAIKANG to do but well kinda enjoy ba .. ppl will think EDMUND U MUST BE CRAZY!! haha nvm .. hmms looking at the ppl ard me are emo ... haiz wad to do ... we are living in this world .. all we can do is just encourage them ba ... =D .. well omg my social life is like getting bad to worst ... HOW?? nvm ba ... i think i m getting more and more homely le ... hehehe nvm I LOVE MY FAMILY!! weeeeeeee!! TAKE CARE PPL !!

well

2008-05-18T15:07:00.002+08:00

hmms when you are nt a trainee life is so good .. weets ... so enjoyin my life back in seletar =D and also well hmms loads of things to do .. cos of the Myanmar things ... and all this but hmms overall life not being a trainee is so cool =D .. slp wadever time u like no restrictions.. hw cool eh .. well hmms jus nw overslp .. if nt i had rush down to svc well also ... today learn abt PRAYING....... and ya is true that prayer really work wonders .. Thank God for the 21 yrs of my life ya...

and also to miss jen .. i just dun wanna dwell on u le. is very painful to like keep having this hopes when actually the truth is it is hopeless. u must have keep asking hw come u so inconsistent? but well i nw tell u tt i shld nt wait for u animore le . fren still can be BUT being a r/s i dun think so.

emo emo emo

2008-05-12T20:38:00.003+08:00

ytd metup wid jen ... hmms she had a hard time for her mother's day present .... hmms then met her at jp .. and well she is quite tired and well can feel tt she is still real uncomfortable .. i dunno why .. HAD TONS of struggle to tell her face to face tt i wanna be back with her .. cos 1st attempt wanted to tell her thru whispering .. she immediately shriek off ... =( then in the train was keep having this struggle to tell her BUT ya .. she told me tt she is gg to change job ... and i told her tt is up to her ba ... well i cant honestly tell her tt ya go for it .. becoz if the job doesn't suit her she will nt b happy ar.. so i jus told her to like .. i honestly dun wanna upset her ba .. and ya .. finally plucked out my courage to tell her tt i wanna be back with her .. and she told me this she will think bout it .. and also ya .. i dunno ba ... is quite contradict when u let ur emotions control ur life .. and sorry God tt i blame u for playing out with me .. i know God has His reasons ba .. wait ba ... but well ... hope things will happen ba ... i dunno whether she will read it ma ? but i wanna say is

jennifer .. words can never contain hw much i love u .. and ya i know tt u nid time all this .. well honestly i have waited for 5 mths + le i dun mind to wait for u even longer .. and ya sorry for the times tt i have never uds u and break ur heart .. and sometimes my blurness which pissed u off .. but ya .. all i wanna say is i love u!!

IS OVER

2008-05-08T18:52:00.003+08:00

finally the grueling 7 months of cqc has ended ... omg ... finally the smell of seletar has come ... weet .. ytd nite i was keep dwuw-ing (kids central's latest lingo) i think ya i gone mad le ... well quite emo-ed one of my friend has gone to overseas for her attachement at poly ... i dunno y .. but ya hope she will take care ba ... becoz ... i m waiting for her to come back ... kinda complicated to say nw ... and well i hope she will be fine ... hmms well ... i also went blog hopping ... and well jen is sick le .. TAKE CARE WOR .... hmms well i keep asking myself when i happen to come to think abt r/s stuffs .. well i keep tellin myself to brace up .. becoz .. well but i seems cant explain wad is in my heart .. i keep telling myself tt yes i wanna get into a r/s but the other side of my heart tell me tt edmund wait fer the right one to come .. STAY SINGLE .. ya .. i think i got used to single life and ya my social life is all the way 0 ... and this 4 mths i think i wanna change my character .. cos during CQC is a experience tt u will never forget and u will get to explore ur heart more ... =D i also keep tellin myself tt edmund .. shld nt be fickle minded ... ya? nevermind throw the emo side of me away ... PASSED OUT LO .. also i got GOLD for my ippt ... is a really unexpected one .. THANK GOD .. also THANK U JESUS for helping me and guiding me and sustain me thru the CQC!! my future endeavours =D

this show is the best HK drama i ever watched ... well clear the whole thing in 3 days ... remark-able eh ... this show is quite motivative and also quite touching ... ppl u will sure love this show de .. trust me =D

my personal rants

2008-04-30T19:03:00.003+08:00

boy i think i m getting outta hands .. my past performance in phase 3 is nt tt bad ... BUT i think ytd performance is the worst amoung phase 1,2 ... i can even blur to tt extend tt i will commit the mistakes which i shld nt commit .. and make the section suffer ... GOD DAMNED IT ... edmund edmund edmund .. wth i m doing?? and right nw land into more condemnation to urself amoung ur section... WHY?? and also cpt lim did told myself tt i shld onli talk when i m needed.. WHY???? i cause myself into more deepshit by backstabbing ur buddy to some girls ?? WHY??? nw... good land urself into deepshit ... tml is my D-DAY.... if i flunked tml .. i think more hell coming ... ppl pray fer me ....

hmms the main post

2008-04-27T17:49:00.002+08:00

well kinda random week ... well loads of things had happen .. but well ... i nid to do is CONFIDENT... cos this one will judge me whether i shld be recourse or not .. WHICH i NEVER had the fking intention to recourse... grrrr... GOD i pray tt i will pass outta this course and never come agen ... well also ... ytd is jacq's bday .. hehe happy bday to her and shared loads of things wid her ... and ya she encourage me ba .. and also i think and i think and i think tt i m realli tired le .. cos waiting for her is like buy 4-d .. u strike the number BUT u never buy it ... kinda stupid .. if u dun uds come and msn me and ask me ba ... welll edmund 2 weeks is wad u have .. and edmund u can ADVANCE into greater heights and OVERCOME the fears in you!! edmund jy wor...

a very very very long ago pics

2008-04-27T17:32:00.008+08:00

tts my 21st bday which is nov 07.. damned long ago le .. sry peeps

another week had passed

2008-04-20T10:21:00.002+08:00

hmms monday finally challenged my worst fear .. HEIGHTS .. omg is so fun doing rappeling .... cos rappeling is quite safe .. next is roping ... is so call like free fall .. another fear i need to go thru ... tts ok ... well as for my r/s life .. is very complicated ... i dunno hw to explain the dilema in me .. but i tell myself tt i gotta face it ... and jus walk outta the past which i shld not have dwell and waste time on .. honestly i am very sian in tt course le .. dun ask me why .. is a definitely reason becoz is far too long already ... i pray tt 8th of may faster come .. and i go back to our seletar villa and chill .. as for some insignificant ppl which oftenly come and threaten me all this i tell u i m nt afraid ... =D

i hate sundays

2008-04-13T18:43:00.002+08:00

ppl i think i m suffering from sunday depression .. haiz ... came back to hell again .. hmms had an wonderful time doin rapelling ... overcome my fear of heights ... omg super fun ya .. hehe hmms also this week the hell will start again .. haiz .. so nt look forward for tt .. well i yearn the course to end soon and we can ascend back to heaven .. SO GOD DAMNED look forward for the end of the course which is like ... 26352623639623 weeks more .. haiz hell ya ... nvm take care ppl ... o ya some pics to share also ... metup with a xtremely cutie today ..

her name is missy mabel ... aww nvm .. forget abt the silly intro .. nice fren to be with =D

bitter sweet moments

2008-04-09T10:30:00.002+08:00

hmms ytd boss told me to be ordely for the REAL last min .. i was like wth .. ok lo .. then hmms he text me his pw for his comp then viola churn out his work ... omg i was like this is the last day i will be working with him as a PA .. which he self declare... and also i bought his m600i .. weets i super miss the phone .. and tt particular colour of the phone which is ceramic white .. hmm then well after tt was like cohesion to send off my boss and other few specs and officers .. i was like too high le then drink like 4 cans then i start to down le ... then i dunno wad happen i keep hurling jennifer's name out .. dun ask me why .. i dunno .. =D i wanna get a new life .. but well .. life goes on tts wad she tell me .. dun talk abt her le ..

CPT Lim take care in 30 SCE wors .. congrats on ur 2i/c tour .. =D

emo blogpost BEWARE!!

2008-04-06T18:52:00.002+08:00

hmms ya this post partially for my BELOVED boss .. hmms sir thanks for the 3 wonderful years .. well u had guide me and really gif me lots of chances .. And also i really respect u as a fren more than an officer .. cos u told me alot of hw life is nd this 3 yrs is a so called a growing up for me and ya i can always rmb when u call me peng you xiao .. i will miss the times wher we are in the vertical office bio - ing frenster char bor while working on the impt things .. *salutes*

NEXT!! last week is the best day of my life or shall i say fruitful .. why .. my designation .. PA for my BELOVED boss and AI (auxiliary instructor) for CECC (vertical) well being instructor . . is so cool cos is another time fer me to refresh my modular kit construction skills and also ya have a good tan on my face .. (talking cock already) no la .. well being instructor can be tiring too .. becoz u nid to ensure the trainees to execute the things correctly and also ensure their safety and etc ..

NEXT!!! HAD A GOOD TAN IN SENTOSA (finally) well did nt know anione there cos as usual SHY (i m bullshiting again) well after tt my flu bug hit me while gg to partyworld BUT to our disappointment we cant sing due to we are LATE!! hmms well this week gg back to CQC!! had a really tinge of sianess and she bu de!! cos ya working with BOSS for 3 years .. is like hmms nice ... i will be emo when losing a good boss .. but if i lose a BASTARD boss i will be like opening champange .. well this time is emo .. cos ya wher can find such a good and hardworking officer?

LJL

2008-03-30T00:09:00.004+08:00

hmms nua nua and nua then went to bpp then while i was chilling at the playground i saw someone .. TOT I SAW GHOST!! then i saw GOH HUIJUN .. my long time no see de LJL fren.. then went with her to find her stuffs .. then end up my sis de XXL chicken chop went cold .. then we bought breezers then sit down and drink then this bugger told me 1 shocking news cos we are chatting about the WYLONA incident .. then i told her another things first .. i shall nt say cos it will affect my SI WEN REN image ... =x jk ... haha hmms LJL u shld be thankful to like God to place u into a family ba .. try to uds them and ya .. MAI EMO LEI.. u will always be my LJL good fren .. then after tt reach home chill awhile then meet WINNIE TAN and mr DON for pool .. FK my pool is getting more noob and noob each day .. damned it .. then after tt headed home.. kinda shag but quite happy!!

boring sat

2008-03-29T16:35:00.002+08:00

wad a sat... haha hmms went plaza then jus nice bump to ARIEL .. then we hav sme lil chat and ya then tt crazy girl say wanna drink then ok lo .. bought barcadi breezer .. then this time is she help me pay then next week as promise i will REPAY u back de .. haha .. then we talk loads of personal stuffs la .. then ya la ... ARIEL GOH must think wad are u doing dun becoz of small things then u start to do silly things make the whole world worried PLS no =D

on a REAL RANDOM note

2008-03-27T23:52:00.002+08:00

hmms enjoying the fullest on the siesta week.. wooooo ~ BUT on a random note .. something for me to be elated on and also anticipate on .. well heavy $$ will be coming my way .. BUT also quite pissed la .. cos is like .. there are ppl will tend to compare and wad pissed me off is .. tt is based on ur last year performance and ya .. my $$ is wad i shed my sweat, SUNBURNT, and blood .. so well if u feel that my performance is not there then i got nth to say .. cos is like it will never be fair to compare ppl .. is MY PERFORMANCE not yours and also nt for u to gadge also .. if u wanna get a fatter sum then y nt try agen NEXT year .. perharps i might get a lower sum ... IDK .. to me hw much i get for this BE IT i will get a fat one or a lesser one is ok .. cos i believe wad i do is wad i get .. aniwaes .. WEEKEND is coming omg .. super super excited cos got a fatter sum to spend .. hmms well also gotta save up .. hehe .. ON THE OTHER note .. hmms there are alot of decisions for me to make .. and this decision is a long term one .. well FUTURE ... heheh .. hmms ya rare rite blogging on a thursday nite .. =D

complicated mood

2008-03-24T23:31:00.002+08:00

today edmund's mood jus sat a roller coaster ride .. from high hit to the lowest point ... ouch hurts eh .. hmms i dunno hw to put it tts y my title is called complicated mood .. cos ya at one point i CAN say that HEY I FORGOTTEN MY EX .. but ya when i start to accept things but .. ya things just dun go by my own ways .. i can uds de .. well .. all i can say is edmund ren ming le .. gave up hope le .. GOD damned gif up le .. =D icey zeh zeh .. nt ur fault .. really is just i zi zuo duo qing .. is a super super thing which i shld nt come to think abt .. screw up =(

WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!

2008-03-23T02:21:00.002+08:00

nvr enjoy weekends in sucha super nice way .. hehe hmms wake up real LATE .. met hia di and kakak go to sentosa .. with their dogs .. RAMSES and NINI .. omg they go in str8 away attract loads of attention from the chicks ... hehe and hmme bump up into 3 hk gals .. they are studyin in sg .. BLASTED MY FKING CHANCE ... y?? too shy to ask for number ... shit man .. haha then hmms hit to their home and bath and then hit to bpp for dinner .. after tt hit home and watch movie .. had the intention to go dam .. but too tired le .. cos kakak wans another voyage to sentosa tml .. DOTZ!!! dunno ba ... hehe hmms kinda tired nw .. slping time ZZZZZ

YAY!!!

2008-03-21T11:11:00.002+08:00

finally the VERY MUCH anticipated holiday for seletar folks are here ..... hehe and also another ultra long weekend to be expected .. omg .. so cool ... hmms ppl DATE me .. i m bored .. =x and jus nw i was viewin my sister's blog omg .. it makes me feel so guilty .. becoz all the time when there are time when i book out i will think of gg out .. never really observe wad happen at home .. and ya .. shld nt be the case .. hmms i seriously pretty envy my parents .. they are really close and ya bonded together .. i m glad that i m put into this family THANK GOD =D .. i love them loads .. cos my mummy is my confidante whenever got probs i talk to her we can really clique she is nt just my friend BUT my BFF ... hehe hmms also my dad .. he is my driver .. NO la .. he is also my another confidante cos man to man talk can be really good smetimes .. my sisters (jasmine) a girl which can really gauge my wearing taste and correct my taste .. (jerlyn) that cutie that brought the family with smiles .. basically i love them alot ...

wad a super long weeek!!

2008-03-17T14:25:00.002+08:00

came back ytd .. due to the U KNOW WHO ... and ya ... came back omg steamboat actualli i reserve my tummy and i just pinched some pizza during lunch ... and well the steamboat dinner is super OUTSTANDING .... wooo hw i wish i will have another steamboat dinner .. after tt meet hia di at khatib then went to dam to meet the lightning dice ppl ... hmmms then went home slp at ard 3 ++++ DRATS ... hmms me super indulge on techno after viewing wj's profile (jen de fren) omg ... i think i m super contented with the speakers i have nw ... GAWD ... hmms ... well anyways .. hmms i m super super super confused ... wad the heck i m gonna do .. well ya is on r/s .. BUT ya .. try VERY hard to stop thinking and just dun wanna care tt .. becoz is like ..... though i do admit tt i wanna have a new r/s BUT i still cant seems to really really and i mean REALLY to put her down .. i dunno y? haix the memories are too much .. well sry to the SILLY GIRL .. my decision has come to this point le ... i onli take u as a sister ... nth much and nth less .. take care .. well i think i can expect a real short week ... hmms tonite go back shiong for tml .. THURSDAY I M FREE AGAIN !!!! and next week the ppl are gg to taiwan less some of the seletar folks ... so ya cheerios ppl ... take care ...

gawd

2008-03-12T05:42:00.002+08:00

is wed.. time flies .. shit .. hehe hmms ytd watch sky of love super good .. cried buckets .. damned it .. hmms also ya come to tt movie it gif me alot of reflections .. and i also had a decision .. might be stupid but ya .. wait for her ba .. i gif myself till april 2nd .. dun ask y .. but ya .. till tt date she have nt come to a decision i think i know wad i m gonna do le .. adjust my life and ya ... is tought i believe i can do it ... =D .. i do hope things will change .. but ya *FINGER CROSSED*

bonus entry

2008-03-10T22:54:00.002+08:00

also just nw as i reflect while shopping .. WOW doing shopping also can do reflection ar .. actually is a sort of another thoughts .. well my sister say tt she dun have a good or shall i say best friend .. well as for me i dun have a good gf .. end up i think is also a good thing ar .. at least i can have quality time with my family .. well there will be quarrels like having a gf .. BUT at least ... the grudges dun bear overnite ... and well at least nw i gotta wait .. though tots of her do linger me .. but well is nt as heavy as last time le .. i realise that .. to love and cherish someone might be tough .. BUT if u wanna forget someone which u put in the love and cherish is more tough.. is just like smoking .. u pick up is ez BUT u quit is never easy ... well i m tryin to adapt it le .. and i dun think i will get into ani r/s till i REALLY i mean REALLY find the right girl ... =D

hmms ANOTHER rare chance

2008-03-10T22:48:00.002+08:00

well another rare chance to see me gg bloggin on a monday nite ... hmms well a deserve rest =D .. since friday have being out spending .. hmms well also ... had slack but ytd was a big time shock .. but end up it turn out to be a false alarm ... but at least get to go back on a sunday nite ... he he time flies when u are slacking ... hmms well ya ... cheers i suppose and EXPECT to have a real short week ahead ...

WOW

2008-03-07T21:54:00.002+08:00

excited. .. mixed feelings .. cos all i can only say that first time in my entire regular life i did something ......... hehe .. well also i have think about it le .. NO POINT waiting for her le ... i really SICK and TIRED le .. i dun wan even when we are frens and yet we quarrel like hell.. wad the point and i m super sick of that already ... and i decided from today 070308, 1330 i will forget about this person ... the past is sweet BUT the sweetest and the easiest day is yesterday .. let it go .. SERIOUSLY i lost hope in r/s le .. why?? becoz i dunno hw to cherish myself.. and i cant even cherish myself wad the ##$% i wanna cherish someone .. so.. i only have to WAIT ... wait for the only one which will only appear in my eyes and i will really devote on her just like wad i did for someone ... so.... edmund must wait le .. and also i also lost my confidence on r/s le ... sian really sian le .. single life is better =D single life is good .. save money .. only have frens and QUALITY friends .. and they will not hurt u and give u useless excuses saying cant commit end up found herself a new bf DAMNED it .. and also .. i love my family .. my silly sister say she dun have a best friend .. LET ME TELL HER .. we daddy , mummy , me , jerlyn are ur BFF (best friends FOREVER)

drats

2008-03-02T17:33:00.002+08:00

super nt enjoy ytd nite ... mos ... the music is nice .. manage to dance abit .. but too crowded .. damned it ... haix ... well tonite gotta go back early .. sians to the max ... the terrorist is still AT LARGE .... hmms cant wait for next week i mean next week cos the troopers are gg to taiwan and the engineer folks are going back to seletar for siesta.. siesta or not i dunno .. but is a 2 weeks break .. cheers =D

another week

2008-03-01T16:07:00.002+08:00

this week well quite short for me .. cos wed nite as i blog about .. then friday nite book out le .. cos of the runaway terrorist .. COOL =D . . . . well met up wid hia di ytd and went rounding with his lightning dice club ppl .. well saw some nice trucks there .. and also sit at my usual place THE DAM . . then chill out then when eating at the porridge stall at chinatown damned did nt know it is 24 hrs . . shiok!! then when fetch his gf at boat quay then me nd hia di was like walking ard and me was like eyes on those hot chics ... hehe . . then me and his gf aka diana kak kak was bitching abt some girl which .... nvm is complicated to say ... then went home after that ... hehe looking forward for tonite . . ZOUK!!!! =D

RARE CHANCE!!

2008-02-28T01:36:00.002+08:00

A REAL RARE CHANCE to see edmund low blogging on a thursday EARLY morning... well get to bk out to attend the aunty of mine's funeral... hmms be back on like ard 14++++++ hrs time .. damned it gotta cherish this time ... WISELY... hehe .. hmms ya real lethargic and real sians.. pia so hard no one can see de.. nvm nvm .. dun elaborate all this shit .. TIRING ... all i want is to clear the rabak course ONCE AND FOR ALL .. i repeat CLEAR THE RABAK COURSE ONCE AND FOR ALL!! a lil effort frm me =D .. Edmund is nt tired at all he is mentally DRAINED OUT!! =(

another sad thing

2008-02-24T18:05:00.002+08:00

well ytd around 4+ i receive a miss call from my mum.. then i called back she was in tears .. i was SO SHOCKED!! she told me that my dad's aunty was being bumped by a car ... i was like WTH !! i last saw her was like 2nd day of cny at their hse enjoying their porridge breakfast .. omg that will be like the last meal with her .. sad... life is never ever be predicted .. =D .. REST IN PEACE

LONG WEEK

2008-02-24T17:55:00.002+08:00

tekong training was fun .. but unexpected things happened was being confined .. why .. LOST of 1 of my things.. then wasted my sat or shall i say ytd eat slp and shit ... and did some packing .. hmms well .. left with dunno how many 1893245242 weeks more to hell end .. my finger crossed i m asking God for giving me this energy .. perharps i was too complacent and never know that holy spirit is there for me .. Sorry God for leaving u .. God please realli grant me directions .. and i really wanna complete this course and never will i come back for recourse .. And i also know that why God dun want me to be in the police force and He put me in the army instead .. God wants me to grow up and learn things thru the hard way because i was way too childish and cant make my own decision .. God put me into CEC have His reasons too because i was expected to go CQC and God wants me to be mould thru there too .. And i realise that every good things or bad things God is there for me .. and when tekong field trip i can sense a real strong Holy spirit .. He encourages me to move on .. Which i never be expect that to happen and God is a VERY good God .. and i decided le I WANNA COME BACK TO HIM !!!!!! And i really want God to be with me and guide me along .. and Glory to God .. my course Comd told me tt he see a improvement on me .. as for the other person .. well ...... i dunno .. gotta wait for a formal evaluation which is TOMORROW.. i pray that it is a positive one and God will continue to guide me thru out ... thank u Jesus

a week which i NEVER ever been look forward for

2008-02-17T17:37:00.003+08:00

i will never look forward this week ... trainings tempos are getting higher .. sighs.. i wonder when it will end .. i wanna buck up .. and every sunday is very stressfull... i jus dun look forward on sunday.. is super stressful.. HELP ME .. and ya nw on the last brink of my cqc life.. edmund PLEASE buck up.... never mind leave work aside .. ytd meet JENNIFER .. miss her loads ... as promised i celebrated her bdae and bought her a cake .. well a lil too big .. but ya hope she will love the belated v day present .. hope she will come back by my side and reconcile ... i duno when it will come .. but thanks for encouraging me ... when i m super stress .. i guess i nid u ... zhen de .. come back to work .. haiz when it will end .. i dunno .. i dun wanna end up every week being stress and ya there are ppl ard me help me ... but i cant help myself .. i dunno y .. i just seems so blur very blur and dunno wad happen to the situation.. yes i can be slow .. but i nid to realise wad is the situation around me .. if i screw up things .. i will only make the whole course suffer which i dun wanna see that .. haix .. never felt tt stress up for weeks ... told hia di bout tt also he also say continue to endure becoz is never worth it to be OOC cos alot of things will happen!! I often ask God for directions it seems the answer still cannot be find .. stress up ... i m really tired .. i think i will suffer from nervous breakdown REAL soon ... the stress i m tryin to endure is far too much le ... had a talk with mummy and daddy they encourage me with the same things .. ENDURE thru .. i must admit that yes i m a sheltered kid .. and i use to believe that things will go thru by luck .. but for this time wrong REALLY WRONG .. i m in a loss nw .. serious in a deep lost ... i dunno how to go and wher to go le .. God really must help me ..

a fruitful cny

2008-02-10T17:56:00.000+08:00

weets cny cny and cny .. well my 5 days LONG weekend is gone le .. haix .. chu 1 same as usual ... chu 2 as usual but at nite we sang at partyworld.. chu 3 met mabel past her some presents .. then today ... MONDAY BLUES... grrrr .. shit shit and more shit coming .. EDMUND LOW GOTTA WAKE UP MY FKING IDEAS... endure for 1 more mth... edmund u can do it de... i pray tt it will be gone ... well i kinda miss someone nw .. =D

another terrible week had passed

2008-02-03T14:50:00.000+08:00

well tt past few days is all abt wack wack nd more wack .. OUCH!! nvm endure endure .. nervous breakdown too ... haix .. but well endure it and the thing will end soon .. super look forward for this week cos is CHINESE NEW YEAR =D !!!! hmms well ytd went to go sing partyworld with hia di, diana and mabel ... weets super enjoy lo .. but the time is real short .. hw i wish we can sing till 4 ++.. haha =D ... crap alot le then supper @ newton... hmms food ar .. ma ma hu hu .. haha when i reach home ... told ghost stories with mabel .. omg she is frighten lo.. she told me tt she cant slp .. haha accompany her till like day break ... silly her can hear tt she is real tired le .. hmms also share loads of personal stuffs ba ... shall nt elaborate.. haha TAKE CARE PPL happy chinese new year =D

hmm another HELL WEEK has passed

2008-01-26T16:29:00.000+08:00

haix this is terrible the course is getting more terrible.. felt like giving up.. God knows when my determination drop??? hmms i wonder will it be more shit?? yes definitely.. i gg bonkers soon .. LET MY DETERMINATION WORKS BACK PLEASE... Lord i m doing all i can, to be a better man.. hmms aniwaes i pray tt this feb will go off fast.. WAKE MI UP WHEN FEBUARY ENDS

in memory of jia ren

2008-01-20T19:57:00.000+08:00

well life is certainly can NEVER be predicted.. jus nw when i was at plaza de ec hse to cut hair and i bought xin ming and read and i came across this article reading youth dead in msia .. and i barely jus skip tt article .. then when i made a 2nd trip to plaza for my usb cable of my psp i bump to my yfc fren (youth for christ) she told me tt jiaren was dead ... and i was like asking her when .. she say ytd .. and i suddenly tot of the article i came across moments ago .. i was in the state of shock cos last week i bump into him at beach road and had a lil chat DID NOT know tt it will be my last chat with him.. i jus like haiz .. i knew him since like 5 years back when i m in like sec 3 .. hmms we clique alot.. recently bump him at my old folks home .. but did nt talk .. but LAST week saw him at beach road ... and i did nt know tt it will be my last meeting up with him .. JIAREN REST IN PEACE .. i will take care de ..

FINALLY a week has past

2008-01-19T16:06:00.000+08:00

a week of hell has just passed .. damned it .. so nt looking forward on tml.. cos tml will be gg back at nite .. sadded .. definitely i miss ........ daddy, mummy, jerlyn, jasmine and ppl at home .. omg .. is getting emotional le.. haha .. hmms well ya 9 more horrendous weeks to go ... SAVE ME !!! well thanks jen fer the moral support i nid it ... hmms and u shld take care urself too ok .. (if u r reading) dun brood over the politics.. well the realistic world is liddat.. cheer up.. hmm smile ... baby er zi and me will brighten up ur day.. and hmms well haha...hmms dun think too much le .. ur 19th bdae coming le ... hehe silly gal.. well also is tiring .. i dunno y.. haha i still miss seletar .. hmm o ya .. btw by the grace of GOD managed to catch the exciting 3 episodes of the golden path (huang jin lu) haha .. well 60% of the seletar folks catch the show all the way to dragon ... haha well ytd sad missed the last 2nd episode.. well i wanna know wad happen to kaijie .. tt &*%^() (starred by tay ping hui) haha FINGERS CROSSED hope the seletar folks can catch the last episode.. cos this show had bond the seletar folks even more ... hehe proud of mdc to produce such a wonderful production =D ... hmms enuff of ranting in cqc.. hehe hmms looking forward for my thailand trip.. shan't reveal tt much =D

nice weekend and a lesson learnt

2008-01-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

hmms happy bdae to caprio aka CHUA LENG HUI .. haha hmms well .. hmms i todae learnt a valuable lesson .. which is cherish .. well todae i attended my ite - mate's dad's funeral ... well hmms see him liddat well heart pain .. hmms also gotta learnt hw to cherish someone which u love most.. u will never know when tragedy will strike .. so hmm ppl love the person which u love most.. =D well sadded ard 8 hrs time i will embark on CQC .. sadded ... phase one and phase two the shittiest phases and of all courses the shitty one .. hmms i believe tt i can go thru.. hehe cos i have the faith and motivation .. hehe =D

sick me and the SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD monday!!

2008-01-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

D - day for engineer folks .. haha gg back to CQC .. =( well no choice... hehe go go go edmund u can do it =D hehe hmms today so nt feeling well .. cos ytd ate tian tian huo guo (steamboat) i think is food poisoning ba and also the salmon sashimi i ate at amk on thursday... ytd was having a chain diarrohea .. and today.. puke.. dunno wads wrong .. i think is heaty.. damned it .. was so pai seh i was like wanna tahan one .. then almost reach my hse at saujana rd there i cant tahan le heng in the nick of time the cab driver pass me a plastic bag... then i puke .. guess wad i puke PACKETS of wintermelon barley... hmms damned .. wasted .. ppl when u at army market .. there got alot of good food at the hawker stall .. like belgium choc... which me and jen feast .. is feature in her blog.. and the chilli noodle .. ( my mum's favourite), lor mee ( my fav ) and the fish meat bee hoon ... hmms and also the winter melon barley drink is nice ... realli ... is a waste tt i puke tt 2 packet of wintermelon barley drink .. hehe .. hmms well gg to army market bring alot of memories.. well i still rmb the 4 mths promise .. After CQC ... well i dun expect so much on her answer le.. jus felt tt if i realli love her i shld jus let her go ... cos i believe she can have her new love.. jus gif each other a 4 mths break ... and let me enjoy my single life... but also ya change my ego - istic way... and i realise tt my ego - istic + stubborn had fucked my r/s up.. so ya =D thanks melinda fer the lecture and make me realise my mistake .. sry :/

is sunday

2008-01-06T10:39:00.000+08:00

wad a sunday .. hmms well basically is a day of rotting .. which means CQC is coming AGAIN .. So super duper nt looking forward for tt GOD DAMNED course.. =D well tryin hard to adjust my life being a single and CAREFREE BUMMER .. haha hmms well ppl keep telling me can de .. well I CAN ... hehehe hmsm still tryin my best to cope myself bz with work so tt it can numb myself.. AND I PROMISE AMANDA GOH CUI JUN SAYING TT I WILL NEVER DROWN MYSELF INTO ALCOHOL WHEN I EMO!! look @ tt i made the promise ytd i nv drown myself hor....

emo is the lingo AGEN

2008-01-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

well as promised made to amanda .. i shld nt drink .. though quite emo la.. hmms well made a big step le .. hmms bel did told me hw she forget her ex .. well i think i shld follow suit .. well being cruel to myself is the fastest way to heal .. (i assume) it nids time ba .. hmms jus nw Mahjong .. hmms heng never play wid money if nt .. LOSE.. and i m gonna walk home .. =x hmms ya .. emo -ed when on my way home .. well wad to do happen to play some emo song on my PDA phone xD so tts y hmms well .. jus EMO ... hmms ya ytd hmms funny me and JING AI was all the way being melayu in #spinx.. well also when i went home ytd nite frm IRC bt timah after my call of duty game the uncle mistook me as MAT... alamak.. cos my cap put very high machiam like mat like tt ... well the uncle talk some melayu heng i can still uds ... haha .. well hmms today still ok la ... hmms to me so long as i keep myself busy and i will stop think abt her.. Edmund WILL TRY HIS BEST TO FORGET HER DE =D

i hate myself

2008-01-04T18:16:00.000+08:00

i dunno why i m always in a contradict mind.. today on my way home i was thinking lots of things.. why m i cant seems to put her down?? wher i wanna find a stable r/s i really dunno.. i m really frustrated.. HOW COME SHE JUST CANT GET OUTTA MY MIND?? i really dunno .... i wanna find a new r/s BUT is really hard to get rid of it ba.. LOOK I HAVE BEEN EMO FOR DUNNO HW MANY GOD FORSAKEN WEEKS LE... ppl tell me to move on .. ppl tell me to forget her I CANT SEEMS TO DO THAT.. I LOVE HER.. tts all .. ppl says tt i have been used .. but to me SHE DID NOT.. ppl say she is a materialistic gal BUT SHE IS NOT.. i wonder why she can get real tired THAT FAST?? i have blame myself for tt and i m all at fault for causing her to change her mind ... SO FAST.. i dunno .. i had so many past r/s i can move on tt fast .. BUT her?? WHY??? why she is always the special one? tt make me so pain? why would she be the special one which made me felt so deep.. when she told me tt i initially still can take it.. BUT as the days goes by.. the pain hurts deeply.. i dunno wo zhen de shou shang le... (i m really hurt) DEEPLY... to her she blame me for making her felt so stress up .. making her feel so sad .. making her think tt i m nt uds-ing .. yes i have to admit tt i m selfish ... yes i m .. being selfish jus to keep u with me to let me love her.. SHE WILL NEVER UDS HW THE PAIN CYCLE IN MY HEART.. NEVER!!! i hate myself.. Y i nv treasure her.. Hw stupid i m for quarreling with her.. hw stupid i m for my anger.. hw stupid i m for nt loving her tt much .. i m such an idiot.. she will never know hw much i never wanna let her go.. and yet she walk off my life.. leaving me blank and hurts and sad.. i hate myself

hmm random boring zbl day

2008-01-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

peeps here i m back home .. hmms boring random day... and also today got a SHOCKING NEWS .. MY PHONE STILL CANT BE COLLECTED (wth) becoz they say my phone got corroded le.. =( haix so nw cramp in like 10 min to BLOG.... hehe as my blog is dead so tts my lil effort for reviving it =D hehe ppl read and tag ba =D will update more on friday.. stay tuned.. OMG nid to rust to wisma to see wads wrong then head to my old folks home.. ciaox

new year new beginning

2008-01-01T12:58:00.000+08:00

weets is 2008 le.. haaa ytd nite went countdown wid the same couple

oops tts last year.. well went countdown wid them .. sorry nv provide wid pics .. hehe but me also went out wid yong xian.. which is like the 1st gal which i went countdown wid.. =x hmms well me and eric bro was psp -ing nfs carbon.. then when the time comes we saw balloons flyin off and ppl went wild while the fireworks came out... hmms well me saw the fireworks and also made a wish tt my year 2008 will be a greatest year ahead... =D

31-12-2007

2007-12-31T19:40:00.000+08:00

Finally the final day of 2007 =D hmms looking forward for 2008 a brand new year and a better year for me .. my wish for 2008 ... have a stable r/s , better opportunities in CEC, have more opptunity for overseas deployment =D, have more time for my family and friends, EARN BIG BUCKS XD and lastly smooth year ahead =D

reflect back 2007 and looking forward for 2008

2007-12-30T10:51:00.000+08:00

My 2007 can be the most memoriable in my life, well hmms there are sad and of cause .. HAPPY moments.. and well also there are also 1st time and also once in a life time experience .. which is NDP 2007 @ marina bay .. hmms well basically my job there is doing guarding during weekdays in an alternate day basis .. well when come to fri, sat, sun when u see the view at esplanade park there are couples and chio bu .. =x well also thru the marina bay experience i had also enjoy both PAIN and SWEET moments.. well i shld nt elaborate the pain one .. BUT the sweet one .. well got to know jennifer and we start off our r/s since 18/06/07 well i believe she also did experience sweet moments too .. BUT we ended our story sadly 20/12/07. hmms also well i also experience 10 days outfield.. well definitely is BORNFREE hehehe .. hmms well experience team work and bonded with ppl and 1 or 2 had become close frens .. well this year i also did experience bitter ness well i shld nt elaborate but thru tt i have seen TRUE colours of some ppl which used to be my close frens .. well close frens dun kill each other .. too bad they did .. Dun talk abt the sad things le .. looking forward for 2008 really.. hehe cos 2007 can say is nt a real good year for me .. becos alot of hurt sad and bitterness during this year.. ey.. nt being depressed but a lil disappointed haha.. oops i have nt do up my resolution .. hehe well also wish jennifer all the best wor.. hehe God bless her A lvl results.. hmms ppl rmb to do up ur resolutions .. hehe Edmund wish u ppl a happy new year and a fruitful 2008 =D

is over

2007-12-24T18:49:00.000+08:00

sad, devastated, anger, bitter-ness, SO FUCKED UP!!!

random day

2007-12-06T20:14:00.001+08:00

today was kinda short day.. went back to nscc to dekit some stuffs and had some stupid debrief.. and hear some ppl talkin irrelevant stuffs .. After tt went lunch wid gab at the coffee shop outside NSCC .. yummy hk dim sum rock my sox... hehe then went home le.. hehe miss dear alot.. tml can send her to work le.. *excited* hehe hmms but tml might be a real bz after send her to work then after tt go home ... or find my fren .. early evening go chevrons to open ktv for mammy and fetch baby from work to home.. hehe .. ...

For her....

2007-12-05T14:01:00.001+08:00

its my half time

2007-12-01T15:02:00.000+08:00

well CQC has come to 1/2 time for engineer folks .. well we had alot of fun during ex. bornfree learnt lots of things and well learn hw to overcome shock in a real short time .. well as for ROP learn to endure also.. but my poor leg went pain and excruriated one but i persist on ... well i did wanna gif up i must admit tt.. but somehw there is somethin which made me move on and also endure 28 hrs of no slp .. well there are some power slp but end up went super shag.. also caught a cold after tt.. hmms at least somethin to look forward to which is baby's prom... well i realli look forward seeing her in pretty clothes ... hehehe... well there are some probs in our r/s also but thank God tt things settle le.. well also celebrated my 21st bdae in a realli UNPLESANT way there are some stupid issues and end up i realise and wake up my ideas ... and also i decided to follow other frens rather than my so called "besties" tt gonna screw up my life... hehe thanks ppl like kenji, gabriel, melvin, robin and AH FAT for giving me advices ... sigh of relief.. when burdens are gone man are naturally happy.. i m really happy and contented with my family, baby, frens

hmms

2007-11-08T19:04:00.000+08:00

well this week can say kinda short week but loads of things happening ard me... hehe .. had tiff wid baby but it has been resolved le.. sorry dear.. well had a arguement wid my buddy .. God damned it.. but hmmms this year bdae i think will be a memorable one.. hehe will be celebrating in the Desolated Island ... 21 yrs le ... hmms well i think i shld sit down and start to plan wad to do le... if not i think i will continue to slp ... -_-... OUCH foot rot... pain pain =( ... Dear de exam gonna end soon.. super look forward .. and also wish tt she can come sleepover or smethin -_-... hehehe i think she will be my 1st gf tt do all this .. and i cant wait dec 8th to come.. coz will be another first time.. which is first time gg overseas wid dear dear... msia... ehehehe i miss u dear ALOT...

this week!!

2007-11-03T22:08:00.000+08:00

hmms well this week nth much but managed to survived a Route March and a Live firing... haix... so tired... realli getting LACK of sleep... and now transit to tekong things will be quite rush,... =D and i miss my baby... ALOT.. sorrie for not accompany uu... as promised will accomodate to u when on december comes ok? i love u loads

so happy

2007-10-21T18:35:00.001+08:00

well i pretty enjoy my weekend alot .. coz i spend alot of quality time together and we took neos on sat...

isn't she look pretty? well i used not to believe tt gals in love are pretty but now i finalli believe le.. look at my baby .. she looks so chio .. love her to bits damned tml will be outfield, soc, route marches and etc.. haix sad ... well i yearn for this course faster end ..i love u dear ..

2007-10-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

happie 4th month! =D

i miss u baby

2007-10-14T11:18:00.000+08:00

hmms first week in cqc.. mixture of shag-ness, positive, miss baby, screw up, and alot alot dunno hw to say de mood.. odd rite... hehe hmms dunno.. but ya i totally miss baby alot.. i realise that i have been in conplacent in things i do back in seletar... well MUST adopt a total different mindset... hmms well my m600i gotta wait... WAIT till my bill gets lower... well if not i will get a 2nd hand n-gage.. why? becoz n-gage got mp3 ma.. hehehe but dunno whether i wanna buy zen stone ma? hmms see first ba .. next month .. hmms i wanna get a psp on dec.. weet and bring baby for a trip to jb and also ... me wanna faster clear off my cqc and when go back to seletar life will be more song.. =D.. i miss baby .. i m dead serious.. ytd when out wid her.. damned enjoy alot.. well 1st part dun nid to say.. when we go to bugis, suntec.. And at suntec we spent 50 bucks on a machine becoz we wanna get a piggy plushie but end up we took a lil goldfish home.. but can see the smiley face of baby... and i miss ur hugs alot... i miss u and love u.... muackxxxxxx ....hehe thursday book out lo .. expect this week a short week... =D

today 250907

2007-09-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

baby my todae was ultra shagged ..y?? coz todae hmms running in the morning... 10 ROUNDS ard the track and hmms tiring.. haix and in the evening light run but focus more on static exercise.. but the most irony thing is .. my arm muscle are nt pain ONLI MY POOR LEG.. haix.. hmms evening before i book out found loads of xiang si tou .. thinking of picking up fer uu ... hehe cool eh? well i miss u alot ... well alreadi 5 days we have not seen each other le.. this is the longest time tt we did not see each other well... more to come.. =( hehe .. stay positive .. nth is gonna happen to me ... and hmms i also quite worried bout u.. ur nose and ur tummy.. dun drink too much milk when ur tummy is pain. hehe well also remember to eat ur meals hor.. dun alwaes rely on bread for breakfast and lunch.. gastric pains ... me will heartbreak de.. hmms drink more water ar.. cranky weather ..grrrr... hehe i love u so much .. i miss u alot.. and i realli wanna cherish u so much which i wanna treat u as a princess ... hmms baby i love u... and hmms tml will be another hell day fer me... hehe hmms hope tml will be a enjoyin day in school hehe... hmmms looking forward to hear ur calls in da morning ... 7.20am... hehe i miss u!!

hell or heaven

2007-09-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

ytd i shall declare BLACK FRIDAY... why... has the most excruriated pain i ever had not physical pain IS EMOTIONAL pain... i shall not elaborate much i m realli scared tt as i blog i would tear... i miss her so much ... monday is the day ... a day tt will test us .. our love.. our commitment towards each other.. and also a time to learn to be independent... i know tt is very tough for the both of us... have numerous of quarrels and considerations and all the bad things ... but all i wanna say tt be it the world is so touch for the both of us but our love will overcome it... with love everything is possible... i love u jennifer and yes i do

todae

2007-07-05T22:16:00.001+08:00

hmms todae kinda shagggg.. and hmms meet dear @ orchard area coz she went outing wid her frens ... hmmms kinda miss her .. dunno y... dear sorrie fer todae wor ... and hmms i noe deep down in ur heart u have onli me and ya ME!! Low zhong wei Edmund... and also jus now in da bus dearie was so tired and she slp on my shoulder ... awwwww sooo cute... hehehe miss her loads.... dearie no matter wher u are i m alwaes be ur side.. and dearie i love u .. afraid of losing u... die le sinkin agen... weets dear i love u no matter wad lets walk together hand in hand to overcome situations.... love ya xiao zhu

pathetic life

2007-05-07T20:56:00.000+08:00

well hmms now realise tt working life is terrible.. erms ya lo when u are a nice guy ppl will step or eat u all around... haix... thanks gab hear me rant....and ya i nid is confidence worhx... hmms becoz w/o tt ppl will step and eat me all ard.. life sux when u living in this broken down world... =(

effing sad

2007-04-28T06:55:00.000+08:00

todae is my saddest and gloomiest day in my life.. well i finalli noe the feeling on hw i treat my past r/s.. hmmms tt jaslyn .. dunno shld i hate her or not... i heard frm hia di tt she is still wif sotong... and i jus threw tt baby pooh in the trash can.. ( the onli sacrifice for tt r/s) and i broke down emotionalli which like i never cried in tt bitterness for years le... well i guess my mummy is right i shld have stopped seeing jaslyn well everythin too late le.. try to move on? very difficult ba... i noe and i uds tt.. well it nids time ba... edmund is dead!!!!!!!

shitty

2007-04-27T16:52:00.000+08:00

well gotta good question to ask... hmms if u realise tt ur gf/bf had gone out wid his/her ex hw will u react? if u can tahan then well u r great.. if u cant well means u r ok.. becoz well i now suffering into this kinda screwed up dilema... well some ppl can be magnimonious to accept it well some ppl cant when this ppl cant they will be label as childish... well hmms i dunno hw to explain it either well my emotions are so screwed up now ok...

yippess

2007-04-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

woots finalli my IPPT has cleared... wow but this is the best result i ever had... wanna noe? ok let me tell u

standing broad jump: 243

chin up: 12

sit up: 46

shuttle run: 10.3 secs

2.4km run: 10 min 48 secs

woah GLORY TO GOD.. well my life is getting back le... still got some outstnading shit to deal with. and thanks to wb i knew whu the hell whu take me as a stupid idiot... hur hur hur.. he is so gonna be dead.. thanks ar... =D

well this are my HIA DIs... we noe each other and NO one will separate us... cheerios to all

woooo

2007-04-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

well hmms my life is getting haywired... but nvm God's strength can be with me... =) PRAY FOR ME!! and ya well today hmms normal serving but with loads of ppl and there is a VIP on my zone which is......... BELINDA LEE!!! wooo hoooo did not noe tt haha and ya when i talk to celebs like S H E all this i will get nervous de.. But when i talk to belinda is like not stress lei jus talk lo.. the conv though is like normal usher communicating to the peeps.. but is like CMON belinda is a big tyme celeb... haha the conversation starts when i saw 3 seats belinda and her bf hold the outer one and there is one empty.. GOOD!!

me: hi belinda would u like to shift in so that ppl can take the outer seat?
belinda gave a look and gave the astonished O look
belinda: ok
me: give a normal smile =)

and guess wad after tt belinda gave her 100000000000 watts smile to me... and elizabeth in front of her gave me a excited look and she told me tt she is nervous to look behind and i give her a =.= look!!!!!

well tts wad is being an usher for =)

我可以 by cai ming you

2007-04-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

so random well hmms post this lyrics but ya i seems to love that song lots
寄没有地址的信
这样的情绪有种距离
你放着谁的歌曲
是怎样的心情
能不能说给我听
雨下得好安静
是不是你偷偷在哭泣
幸福真的不容易
在你的背景有我爱你
我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明
我就要和你在一起
我不想又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽
是因为你.

meaningful right?

haha

2007-04-02T01:36:00.000+08:00

hmms well today had the most fruitful day out wid family ... becoz now evry sunday = family quality day... well hmms can see my mummy and daddy in a blissful marriage.. (well obvious) well is not tt .. but is their honeymoon period is forever there.. and todae dad gif mummy a prezzie which is a diamond ear ring... WOW.. sweet lei.. so xian mu lo.. haha then my mummy tell me wad she wanna gif me when on my 21st bdae... awwww!! I LOVE U MUMMY!! haha hmms and ya so is like hmms of all the outings i had todae is the most fruitful one it made me realise alot of things la... and ya thru today i also noe wad is treasure ur loved - ones not by showering gifts but is like care and concern... daddy nd mummy they all married for abt 23 years and ya they still support each other and love each other... hmms is like ya lo a typical model couple... hehehe hmms ya lo i so gonna take a family portrait together lo.. hehehe i love them so much... hmms... sometimes i might feel lonely y? becoz ya no gf.. haiz and today in m Sq saw couples cuddling each other at the centre square make me felt so sad and demoralised la... hmms nvm la... can find means can find de.. haha my main focus is chui yee jie.. and hmms i think i m so gonna invite her for easter le.. pray that she is free on the day if can she bring her precious and beloved desmond lo... hehehe i mean tt jie realli nids the Lord la... becoz ya lo... she is now semi - suicidal, depression and dunno la... so is like she needs the gospel lo.. becoz i realli might not noe wad happens next when the next blow comes and hit her... is like i m SO WORRIED LA... hmms JENNIFER LOW XU ER.. MUST BE BRAVE OK? becoz i this didi still nids u wor!! i love u wor JENNIFER LOW jie jie

haiz

2007-04-01T02:48:00.000+08:00

life is full of screwed up things.. hmms chui yee jie got her probs.. haiz and here i m support her and be wid her.. hmms it makes me realise tt this world is fragile full of sad tragedies and i cannot simply jus stop it ... perharps chui yee jie nids the Lord ba... hmms later i m so gonna pray for her luhs... and ya by faith she will be alrite de... hmms wish her luck wid desmond ba... hmms can feel tt he loves u alot de... hmms ya lo.. dun becoz of a small prob then brk.. becoz overcoming it together will increase the bondings of a couple so is like WAY to go.. hmms jia u wor chui yee.. any probs PLEASE never squeeze ur heart will get internal injuries de.. any dai ji must tel hor Dr low will be here for u de wor!! =) I LOVE U jennifer low chui yee!!

woo hooo

2007-03-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

finally i endured this 3 days 2 nitex in da field doing loads of shit jobs in.. haiz sian lo the most zaniest exercise i ever did... spent the nite in the tonner and ya.... gone to the forest in LCK, and loads of places la... and when RTU loads of sai kang to do comes to washing the stores... and i realise tt when our coy peeps if we realli dun wan our morale will be gone.. and ya when our morale is up we can do loads of things.. ytd frm PLC to LCK we sang songs for the whole entire journey.. and haha now i not scared of con wire le heheheh!! hahhaha hmms and ya dunno y ba i miss u wor winnie tan.. hehehe =P

well!!

2007-03-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

i did nt noe tt wearing no 4 will have a big impact... well ytd when i take lift up to my hse there are kids which call me a soldier makes me feel like hmms ya i m proud to be one.. haha nvm they are still young and they dunno anythin ba.. well ya when they grow up le they will realise de... hehehe hmms today well hmms ya i got to noe tt i m gg to e tec... well OUTFIELD!!! sian to the max... nid to do lots of things there and is like a lil rush!!!! nvm.. hehehe aniwaes this OUTFIELD will be a relac one well the field pack must have the 7 items.. well not those standard field pack items is 7 packs or more of CHIPS nd 1.5L of green tea or coke.. heheh well haha i think is a picnic la... hehehe well my platoon have lots of crazy idea.. 1st... indent generater, eat steamboat in the tonner... =.= 2nd take monopoly frm seletar and play inside the tonner... while some of us will be hibernating in the tonner... well i will choose none but hibernate in the tonner... hehehe well hahha so lame rite... hmms ya jus realise tt jowell is wid a ADF spec omg.... hahah nvm hehehe is ok de la now she is my buddy le... hahha (haiz) well nvm wads wrong wid being single... =.= (well ya rite as if) MUNDZ IS SO LONELY!! haha nvm la got frens can le... hehehhe i noe ar... ya lo.. OUTFIELD LO!!! weets... but next next week nid to go back and work le.. so is like 1 week of being an soldier or a combat engineer then after tt back to square le.... haiz !! nvm la aniwaes haha i dunno la ... hw come todae i will talk to weibin de.. i tot i dislike him a total le.. dunno la... nvm i will build barriers on ppl le.. not to trust so much on ppl... currently me is addicted to cao ge's bei pan.. is a nice song... haha

wtf

2007-03-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

haiz wad the hell i m doin i did not know wad the heck i m doing becoz is like I DUNNO LA ... mayb i m nt tt mature enuff is like haiz... sian la well thanks buddy ting for ur advice i love u buddy!!

haiz

2007-03-18T00:58:00.000+08:00

well next time make frens gotta open my eyes big big le... sad

hmm

2007-03-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

cant find a new skin so too bad use their template.. though a bit bland la.. sorry ar.. hmms gotta be sourceful for a new skin le.. and ya lots of things are happening in my life.. well hmms got sad nd happy.. dun share the sad things la ... share the happy things.. hmms i begin to realise tt God is with me.. i love Jesus more nd more each day... and hmm as for my r/s i will slowly find la... becoz ya la ... u think so ez meh.. haiz.. i noe... hmms ya.. so is like ya la ... hmms i think i share wid u somethin.. is about me.. though i look stupid and sometimes do stupid things.. but i m not stupid till ppl do things behind my back i also dunno.. anyways.. hmms i rather dunnid to have a fren than those ppl SO CALLED frens and backstab u.. aniwaes.. someone on friday ask me to grow up and be mature.. well seriously HE HAS NO POSITION to say tt.. well seriously... if he felt tt he is mature enuff.. HAHAHA then y u dun wanna control ur mouth and spouting unwanted nonsense and get yourself beaten up.. so this is wad u call mature.. haha eh u are making me laugh la... be it i stubborn or childish i leave it la.. BUT U HAVE NO POSITION to ask me grow up.. unless u show somethin tt can prove de.. if not i will never mark ur words trust me.. and u have just make me to hate u more (the bible tells me not to hate.. but hey tts my logic.. if u do things behind my back i will seriously hate u)... ppl tell me to stay away from u nvmi dun want.. but seriously i think i gotta stay far away from u.. i rather dun have frens than have someone tt take me like a fool.... i jus wanna lead a peaceful life thru out my regular days in CEC... well other issues i dun gif a damned now!! becoz i m sick of tired le... well i think i shld move on ba.. and ya he tell me to like na de qi fang de xia.. (means if i can have a relationship i can jus put it down and move on ) well na de qi fang de xia is bullshit la... it jus a sacarstic remark tt make u feel happy when u r nt.. so is like tt phrase is plain rubbish la... so is like ya lo u can na de qi fang de xia DOESN't mean I CAN ok.... so ya stop milking or ka me.. BECOZ U SERIOUSLY DUN HAVE THE POSITION TO DO THAT!!! last time i use to feel tt u see the world more than me and means tt u r more mature.. well NO!!! if u felt tt u r much more mature than me.. THINK AGAIN!!! and seriously i dun wish to hear u ka me ok... U HAVE NO POSITION TO DO THAT!! i rather gif ivan milk me than u ok!! and i dun gif a damned tt u quarrel with ur gf or wad becoz of tt shit becoz ya... if u can do things behind my back then is like too bad u 2 kena screwed by me... so is like NEXT TIME WANNA DO TRICKS BEHIND ME THINK AGAIN!!!!!