hmm hello earthlings .. wonder u guys are still reading? but ... hello .. recently it have been a nice and roller coaster challenges ... and also did alot of serious considerations .. many decisions made .. might look or even sound wrong .. but since i did made this decision .. i shall be stand firm to it .. hmmm also .. went church today .. and went to this course .. which really made alot of impact ... which also somehow answered my questions towards my commitment in ling ying ... so somehow i did made this decision to stay on .. no matter how bad my parents object .. cos to me ... is within my own spiritual comfort .. and my ah tao have been quite supportive towards the thing i told him eg: i m not gg to hold joss sticks, help him burn incense paper ... i mean my whole team know the implications of my religious commitment .. so .. to me .. i m still ok .. and also ... i have someone in mind .. but then i told myself not too .. cos my friend did tell me this wise point (not really wise) but it help .. he told me this .. i only get disturb or shall i say got milked by my colleagues .. dun become to the matter of the fact people take u as an asshole .. so yup .. only just sit and watch .. or shall i say is too late for me to tell her all this .. yes girl i like u .. but i can only sit and watch! hmm just now i saw my pri sch mate .. guess what he is driving a porsche .. and what about me .. trucks and suv? and the best thing is?! is not even mine .. and i sat down and think .. this life is not i wanna lead .. i must do something about it .. but i m still pondering where should i start off .. yes!SAVE SOME MONEY! haha .. so ... God please lead me towards the path i wanna go... for the rest of my time i tell myself ... let u go ... yes i did .. but memories still linger .. but after u shifted off .. i keep asking myself why on earth will i still wanna watch your empty house which the reality told me is already no more .. hmmm is over?! i dont know and dont wish to know either =) thats all for my emotional and some not so logical dump down will blog more later on .. peace out